The World Needs More Selfish Mothers

Uncategorized Jul 21, 2021

Real talk - We need more selfish mothers 

 

Wait, I hear you talking, rolling your eyes. Making the first judgement, “Did she just say that?”


 

But listen up.

 

The world needs more selfish mothers.

 

Here’s why - 

 

If you’re a mom, chances are you might feel a bit overwhelmed, tired and stressed.

 

Maybe you’re constantly the default care-taker, feeling the pressure to do it all and be it all to everyone around you. Family, job, kids, partners, even pets!

 

You’ve got a boat load of “things” to do on a daily basis. 

 

“A mom’s job is never done!”

 

Sounds about right?

 

After last year's challenging times, more mothers are waking up to the fact that the old way of thinking and being - a chef, chauffeur, cleaner, sport mom, snack maker, executive assistant, organizer, scheduler and all the things - DOESN’T WORK!

 

If it did, why then do we see so many mothers about ready to snap?

 

Forbes magazine recently quoted that after 2020, more mothers than ever (roughly 40%) have reported some type of anxiety or depression!

 

That’s a disaster and why so many more moms need to start getting selfish. 

 

Let’s get real, most moms have been taught that kids come first, do it all, be it all, and that their needs should always come last.

 

And it’s not your fault! 

 

Growing up, maybe you had terrible role models. 

 

Was your caretaker always DOING something? Cleaning, working, cooking, running errands?

 

If so, it’s likely the reason you are doing the same thing. You might not have known any better.

 

But if you’re following that broken model, how’s that working out for you? Truly.

 

My guess is it isn’t!

 

If you’re stuck in burnout mode and literally can’t manage even one more thing, I invite you to start getting selfish. 

 

Start thinking about your needs.

 

Start thinking about the glue that holds the entire family together - YOU!

 

And I’m obviously never, ever talking about neglect. So, don’t play that card. 

 

What I am talking about is the constant running around for everyone but yourself. 

 

The constant self-sacrifice that pushed your needs to the very end or not even on your list of to-do’s.

 

The mom guilt, the second guessing yourself, the nagging voice that tells you that you aren’t doing enough. 

 

Accepting the reactive mode of life.

 

Because that can inevitably lead you onto the burnout bus, the overwhelm train or the unworthy path. Which can manifest itself into some ugly symptoms like migraines, weight gain, hormonal imbalances and health issues.

 

And we’re all suffering because of it. 

 

Here’s an idea.

 

One that’s so freaking simple but most people neglect it until the physical symptoms start to creep up.

 

Take care of yourself. First and foremost.

 

Put on your mask first.

 

Fill your cup first.

 

When you do that, and you start taking small, tiny steps toward recharging your batteries, you feel better.

 

The world around you feels better. Your family begins to feel the positive side effects of you just taking care of you.

 

Start small.

 

10 minutes a day.

 

Create a tiny container of peace/ease/relaxation just for you. 

 

One of my fave quotes I recently saw, the world wants the best of you, not what’s left of you.

 

And think about how you might’ve been showing up all these years, neglecting yourself for the good of the family. It’s not sustainable and DOES NOT WORK.

 

So, check yourself. 

 

Go look in the mirror and begin telling yourself I am important. My needs are important. 

 

And create a small routine of doing something just for you for 10 minutes a day.

 

That's it. 

 

Cry, laugh, breathe, dance, sing, run, walk, move, play, bike, whatever it is you need. Do. 

 

And watch the magic happen.

 

It’ll be subtle at first.

 

But keep at it.

 

Keep flexing your self care muscles. 

 

And watch the energy and environment around you.

 

We need more selfish mothers. 

 

Will you be one of them?

 

To you and your self care,

 

Shauna Bryant

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